I can imagine that everyone has imagined who they want to be in the long run–how they look, whether that’s a new haircut, losing some weight, or simply smiling more; the qualities they’ve come to possess through maturity and life experiences, to where they imagine themselves being (in a particular city, with a particular someone, or what goals they’ve been able to accomplish).

As mentioned briefly in my previous post, I tend to lose myself when I am in a relationship. And now having gone through four years of having my persona up in the air, kind of knowing who she is deep down, I do find that it is necessary to go back to the dreams and idealizations I wanted to be and do since when I was a teenager…which really was not that long ago. Other things are also relevant and not just about my teenage dreams.

  • complete a full workout routine and get results
    • 5 full weeks of T25 Alpha
  • getting my pixie cut right after these 5 weeks (that means June 26, 2015) 🙂
  • finding the true worth in who I am and sustaining that strength
  • be single for as long as it is necessary
    • I can only allow myself to be in a relationship when I find true love and trust in who I am; I do not want to continuously “lose” myself when I am in a relationship. Nope, I want to grow, not constantly question my own worth by someone else.
    • And, to go against the grain of what others say such as, “Once you have been in a long-term relationship, you tend to fall back into another one.” Fuck that. I will be with a man when I want to, not for mere company and to prove something the lack of my own security.
  • invest time and resources into things that make me happy
    • relearning French
    • same goes with the guitar
    • writing my story, even if I think it sucks
      • publishing that book someday soon
        • This book would hopefully be a mixture of some personal memoir and research on American/Hispanic family dynamic values, communication, and customs–I have realized there is the broad differentiation of how the stereotypical “American” family views the independence of their children once they reach a certain age. For most Hispanic families, this kind of relationship between parents and their children is very different and I would love to explore this!
  • surrounding myself with GOOD people, especially men (*of course, when there is the opportunity) because what I want is friendship, not someone waiting around to have the first chance ask me out on dates or other outings because they do not know how to be alone or they are bored. Unless I am actually interested, which I doubt at this point in time, nope. I do not want to be chased. It is clingy and I hate it.
  • Smile when I see myself naked. I don’t have terrible self-body issues, but I want to feel proud when I see a physical difference in my body.
    • Continuously work towards bettering myself and pushing my physical limits (training for a race or gaining strength with yoga, for example)
  • On August 11, 2015 for my next doctor’s visit to have an A1C score
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