With lots of new lists that are published in our social media outlets, telling us what we deserve or do not deserve (in all aspects of life) I have come to realize one significant truth that beforehand, I had been blinded to, or not really aware of for myself personally. So many of these short articles/lists inform us of the importance that when you are in a relationship with someone (more so, a romantic one), you deserve to be with someone you does not make you guess what their affections are towards you–the demonstration of transparency with your feelings, words, and actions are key to a successful relationship.
For the entire time I was with my partner, I thought I was accomplishing this–always telling him how much I cared about him, opening up space to let him process his thoughts and concerns out loud since that was the best way for him to understand his circumstances (even if many times, these occurrences took place repeatedly). I tried so hard to make sure that he knew how important he was to me and I never wanted him to second-guess that. And yet, the way he showed his affection to me usually led me to question whether deeper feelings were actually there, rather than the surface-like expressions we tend to show just because we may feel obligated to, when they should never feel obligatory.