Rainy Tuesday Reflection

As I was starting to panic a bit on my drive from the ACS office to campus today [meeting with my research professor], I realized a truth that was hard for me to admit, but the more I said it out loud, the more convinced I was of its truthfulness:

I want to fall in love with someone I have never met.

Someone who will provide me with new feelings and experiences so that we can create a new story. I want to be able to see the many ways in which this man will ignite new interests and passions within me, but also be able to see the many qualities/aspects about myself that he’ll be able to uncover without me knowing I possessed them.

I do not want to imply that I have hope of ever getting back with my ex if he came back and asked–although he said that he would. I do not want to rely on a basis of “comfort and familiarity” to ever make me think that things could be ‘alright’ with him again.

Take part in the discomfort when it arrives [and yes, by “discomfort” I mean love].

Basically, do not choose him if he ever asked you for another chance. He does not deserve your “yes.”


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