No time to write. Social Work 512 Presentation and I’ll practice in the morning at BREW.

Thinking of a scene from Love the Coopers.

  • Eleanor running away from her married doctor “boyfriend” to reach Joe in the hospital. Finally realizes she has to run away and leave behind her past to appreciate the present.
  • Song–“Companions” by The Dodos

I almost want to become this person who builds herself up in no need of a man and to become frantic when love shows up, but you’re too wrapped up in your own bad-ass independence [and bit of fear] to realize that you could miss out on that chance for happiness.

Feelings:

  • Resentment and bits of anger as I see so many newly engaged. Supposedly that was to me as well. It’s all I heard from June 2011 and onward.
  • To see all this happen around me makes me feel a little bitter, not towards those actually engaged,but towards him who have me so many false promises. So many false hopes. So many dreams that weren’t mine, but I convinced myself they were.

Scene–Running

Away from it all.

Fuck that need to have someone.

To get married.

To want someone to love me.

I know I am worthy to be loved, but I am so against this idea even existing that I think it’ll be so hard for the next guy to even get my attention. I don’t want to be the first to fall. Be hard to get because I know I deserve better, as childish as that may be.

 

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