Aqua, green-eyed man

To the man with the most beautiful eyes I’ve seen in a long time, 

You are the guy that has my same workout schedule… Or for the most part, I’ve noticed we have a lot of fitness classes together. For some strange reason or another, I like you and I don’t even know why. I think it’s mostly because your eyes draw me in and I’ve noticed how you will relate to others in class– sometimes you’ll just talk to the men in the fitness classes or you will just talk to the older women. But to communicate with those that are maybe around your same age range, not so much of that. 

I have no idea who you are, I have no idea what your name is, and I am guessing you are around your mid 30s. And for the first time recently I’ve just come to notice that within the last week or two I don’t know if you’re looking at me or just in my general direction… But it feels like every time I generally look towards your direction you immediately look elsewhere. Again, there is a huge ass mirror in the fitness room so more than likely people are going to look at themselves to make sure that they’re doing a squat at 90° or that they’re doing a push-up with their back completely flat. But today interesting, thinngs were a little different. Today we had to do pull-ups, something that I really don’t like but I’ve grown a little bit more accustomed to doing them–especially when they are done with someone supporting my feet; being held by the waist and pulling myself up is still a challenge. Well, today I paired up with little older gentleman maybe in his 40s or 50s. There was an odd number of us and you immediately came over to our bench. I’m guessing mostly because we were the closest group of people to you. Plus, all the other dudes in the class had paired up with girls. 

Even when you had the opportunity to choose a bag on the other side of the room before class started, you still came over to my side…  And while we were doing pull-ups, I was the first one of the group to go. There you were, actually being supportive towards me and saying I could do another pull-up. Part of me couldn’t help but smile just a little bit. You actually directed a word at me, maybe not directly to me, but definitely words of encouragement while everyone was absolutely stinky and dripping in sweat; while I am puny and still a little weak to do a pull-up, but it was just awesome to hear. It was a little moment of joy for me as I realized that you were speaking to me. That sounds totally naive, as if ALL I want in life is for you to talk to me–it’s not. It was just great that after months of seeing each other, you ‘acknowledged’ me when I felt kind of vulnerable. It’s the little things that get to me and mostly, I love it when those tiny moments arise when they are to support others regardless of where they stand at a physically fit level. I believe there’s more sincerity in those moments than anywhere else. 

 I don’t know if you always do pull-ups without someone supporting you, but you pretty much did all those pull-ups on your own.  I don’t know if you were just doing that because you always do that… Or because there was a girl in your group and you needed to show yourself or whatever shit men think they’re suppose to do when women are around. Like a teenager, I did my best to not even look at you so much because I’m nervous you’ll realize that I cannot get enough of your face. Your eyes draw me in because they are an intense light aqua that seem to only get more brighter as we’re all working out and the blood rushes to our faces, our arm, our necks. Sweat pouring from our heads and we just glisten in our own mess. 

I’m probably never going to see you again because I’m moving home in a little over a month, but I think it would’ve been nice to have just been able to know your name and chatted at least once or twice so that I could’ve gotten that little bit of satisfaction. To have known that I at least spoke to a boy  I liked. Excuse me, I should not say boy, I should say man because you definitely look more like  a man than you do a boy. I like that, but I could be wrong about the manliness. Most males do not really mature very well, so at 30-something, you could still be a boy at heart and with a super high immaturity level, which just does not suffice for me. 

But yeah to the man with the most beautiful eyes that I dare not even look at for far too long. I like you because I am pulled in by those eyes as childish and as hopeless as that sounds. Maybe you’re the guy that I’m meant to tell that I find you beautifully attractive  or whatever because I will probably never see you again, so I’ve honestly got nothing to lose.  I’m still too much of a chicken to even consider  kissing a stranger and then running away… Because if I do come back to the this Krav Maga school, it would be very embarrassing to have kissed you and to have run off and then seeing you an ‘x’ number of months later 😁

Hopefully we at least speak and learn each other’s names. That way, you’ll never forget that petite, mysterious girl with the super unique name 😉

#whoamikidding #crushin

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