“everything has changed”

I don’t necessarily believe all people have the capacity of falling in love at first sight, but I am a believer that similar feelings can be present when we are with someone who unquestionably makes us feel “at home” with their presence.

I believe those of us who viciously guard our hearts for the sake of protecting ourselves are in even more danger when we do find a person we can trust, which then opens us up to be our true, unreserved selves.

I believe that those we trust the most–our best friend from childhood–are who we love and cherish above all others. It’s with them that we can speak our minds about any topic in the world, knowing we won’t be judged, just lightly made fun of from time to time.

I believe two people can love each other for years without wholeheartedly knowing how fitting they may be for one another. It’s likely just a thought that has not crossed both peoples’ minds or one of them is unwilling to risk losing such a friendship.

I believe there is an indescribable power in hugging.

Hugging is healing, my voice loudly echoed that night.

Hugging is healing.

As he embraced me tightly, with care, without doubt and hesitation.

I believe against my better judgment that ‘something’ came to the forefront Monday night. Something changed either partly in me or entirely. Every time he embraced me closer to him, a piece of my walls crumbled down, reminding me there is great beauty in vulnerability.

I believe his openness, whichever way–either to help me feel better or if there was a stronger motive than that–served as an example, where the situation held out a mirror towards me; to really make me see who I am deep down, despite trying to convince myself that I’m too complicated to love.

I believe I responded well to his affection and care because that is how I would comfort someone I care for. The truth is that I have shut myself away in expressing [or simply wanting to express] that to others, while simultaneously only allowing myself to receive that care from my Mom.

I believe his openness is a beautiful example to live life. It shows more strength, more rawness, and humanity than shutting out the world, thinking you’re doing yourself a favor in protecting yourself, when you are only damaging your spirit.

I believe there is a strength in knowing when and where to use your energy for people, but I believe he has taught me there is an even lovelier way to love and accept the world: just be open and if you do get hurt by loving it too much, you will at least know you had the purest of intentions for your fellow human.

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